The Hidden Homeless

15. May 2013 · Write a comment · Categories: homeless · Tags: , , , , ,

Homelessness has a federal definition.  It is “a person who lacks a fixed, regular and adequate nighttime residence or one who has a primary nighttime residence that is a supervised shelter designed to provide temporary living accommodations.”  However the Hidden Homeless have a different definition. They don’t have a home, owned or rented, obviously.  They couch surf, and when they’ve worn out that welcome they make their car Home Sweet Home.

Some are victims of the economy, some are under employed and some are running from abuse.  They fall under the radar of National Homeless counters as they are not seen or counted in shelters.  They usually don’t take advantage of resources.  After all, this is a temporary situation, they reason.  They will be back on their feet soon.  Shame dogs them every time they enter a public bathroom to brush their teeth and wash their face.  Timing is crucial if they want to take a sponge bath.  Fear hounds them every time they park for the night, finding the right spot–not too busy where they will be noticed, but not too remote where they might not be safe. And can you imagine the complications if children are thrown into the mix?  1.5 million US. children live in families without a home. Among those children, 42 percent are under the age of 6.  Can you imagine keeping an inquisitive toddler confined to the back seat?  Karen knew what it was like.

At 17, when Karen, found out she was pregnant, her mother was so enraged that she kicked her out.  She did the shelter route for awhile but when her daughter was born, she asked her boyfriend’s mother for help and soon that mother was given custody of her grand-daughter.  Karen was relieved because she knew her baby would be taken care of.  But, as a mom, she was devastated that she could not care for her daughter herself and that separation was killing her.  In her pain, she turned to alcohol and the streets and the arms of another man who would soon become father #2.  Even though she managed to keep a job, she was making little money.  She desperately wanted to keep and care for this baby, so she started living in motels but when that became cost prohibitive she took her savings and plunked down $680 for a new home, a Dodge Neon.  Her morning routine included a trip to the gas station bathroom to wash her baby and her own hair in its cracked, dirty sink. Her evening routine included scouting out the safest place to park for the night, with the car running all night to keep the heater on in the chill of the winter’s night. Karen worked two part time jobs, enough to pay for daycare, but the stress took its toll and she began medicating herself with the bottle again.  She knew she had failed, once more, as a mother.  She decided she had to let a family member raise her son.  Brokenness and hopeless were her closest companions for the next few years.
Soon Baby Daddy #3 stepped into the scene and Karen promised herself she would get help and raise this baby herself.  She had heard of some shelters but was reluctant to go because she thought they would  force her to give up her baby.  Then someone, told her about Shepherd’s Gate, a place of sanctuary for women AND their children.  There she was welcomed with open arms, regular meals and medical care.  But most important to her, she would have a safe place to tuck her baby in at night.  Karen’s life became transformed.  She not only found a home, but she met the God who loves her dearly, holding no judgements on her past.  She is learning life skills for family living, budgeting, cooking, and job searching.  Karen is rebuilding her life from the ground up and God is at work restoring her family to her.
This Saturday, May 18,  I’m participating in a homeless awareness event called 24 In Your Car.  I’ll get to sleep in my car for one night to get an idea how it must feel.  But I won’t really know.  I’ll not have fear when I park because I’ll be surrounded by 100 other people doing the same thing.  I won’t have shame brushing my teeth at the porta-potties because I know it’s just for ‘the experience’.  I won’t have despair because I will live in the certainty of knowing I can cozy up in my bed, at my home, the next night.  But I will become more aware.  My eyes and heart will become more attune to the Hidden Homeless that may  be in the Safeway parking lot or the public library’s bathroom.
So before you go to bed tonight, think about this.  If you were homeless where would your brush your teeth and wash up?  Then where would you park for the night so your would feel safe?  Tell me how you might feel?  Think like a hidden homeless for a minute.  Or two.  Then crawl into your comfy, cozy bed.
Sleep tight!
PS- If you are in the area and want to participate with me at 24 In Your Car, come on out!  You don’t have to stay the night even.  Just come out for the 7:00pm program.  Click here for more info.

San Francisco and Mary Tyler Moore

02. May 2013 · 2 comments · Categories: homeless · Tags: , , , ,

I felt I should go to the San Francisco Public Library. I thought it in my head then I heard a mention of this very library on the radio then Mark Driscoll mentioned a library in his sermon. So I went to see why God may be leading me there.

I walked down Market Street to get there. A bit over a mile. It was exciting. “I’m walking in one of the greatest cities in the world!” I crowed. I felt like Mary Tyler Moore in her show watch show opener here and would have thrown my hat in the air if I had one.
I just started noticing…people, places and puddles. It had just rained. A man caught my eye standing at the curb, back to traffic, a cigarette burning between in his fingers, headphones jammed in his ears and in a state that would mistake him for a wax museum figure. Still. Vacant. Hollow. Sad. Had he heard some bad news? Was life just so monotonous.? Was there no hope? His sadness aged him.  Then I saw another man smoking at the curb. What’s with all the curb smokers? Ah, must be the distance from a public building one must stand if one wants to smoke.
I saw a wildly tighted woman with artificial red hair, smoky eyes.  And the bored chai latte cart girl in a lull between caffeine rushes. And 3 guys in knitted caps, one with a suitcase handing a box of cigarettes over to the third only it wasn’t cigarettes that were in the box, if you catch my drift. Man, this city is gritty. You don’t get this in Danville. That I saw plainly.
The further I went down Market the sketchier it became. More people clothed in Goodwill, more shopping basket homes, more people without teeth.  A man was doing a dance to the music in his head. I was really glad he pulled up his saggy pants before he had pants on the ground. I admit I was getting uncomfortable. This wasn’t the exhilarating bright lights, big city anymore. It was down and dirty and druggy with an element of danger lurking. Of course it was broad daylight (or at least broad cloudy with a chance of showers) so I thought I would be safe. But the stories of crime happening in the daylight are becoming more often told.
I was just a little bit relieved when I walked through the doors of the Public Library, a 6 storied modern building with touches of history. I had to go to the bathroom and there I noticed the streets had followed me in. Two apparently homeless women were chatting.
“Where ya been?”
“Oh I spent 3 months at H…. House. At 214.”
One lady was putting on makeup from her satchel. I wondered if this was her morning routine. Sleep on the sidewalk. Get ready for the day in the library. I wondered where she would take a shower. She needed one.
The computers were all taken. And a line was already forming to the left. Why not use the Internet at home?  Especially since people had to stand if they wanted to use the computers. They don’t want people too comfortable when they are surfing the web, I guess.   We have one desktop and 3 laptops, 1 iPad, 1 iPad mini and 2 smart phones at home. We are well connected. We don’t need to use the Internet at the library. But then I remembered my friend who was homeless tell me that’s the only way she can use the internet and look for jobs or housing or…even just cat videos, I guess. I suppose if you’re  homeless having a data plan is not in your budget.
Not sure why God brought me there that day. Maybe just to observe.  Maybe to get me out of the comfort of my red chair to see how many people live in the city just over the bay.  Maybe to get a glimpse of the night I will be spending on the streets, albeit in a car. (I thought about renting an RV, but I guess that would be cheating. ) On May 18, Shepherd’s Gate, website, a homeless shelter in Livermore, CA for women and children, will be hosting a sleep-in-your-car event to kinda get what it feels like for the many who make a car their home. On any given night there are about 633,000 homeless in our nation.  California leads the states in percentage of homeless.  And when the shelters are full, the homeless hit the streets or their car if they have one. 85% of the women and children who’ve come to Shepherd’s Gate have once called a Ford Home Sweet Home.  Where do you park insuring a safe night?  Especially when it’s illegal to sleep in your car in CA?  Where do you take your showers?  Go potty in the middle of the night?  Where do you study?  Eat? Change your clothes?  Brush your teeth?  I guess in a public library.
I will be learning all about what the homeless have to struggle with and more.  Would love for you to risk the experience and join me! Adults, teens, kids, and babies can participate!  You can sign up to be a part and find out what’s its like for the homeless right in our own backyard. 24 In Your Car  And if you can’t sleep there but would like to donate to Shepherd’s Gate you can do so at My 24 page.
This is really getting out of the Red Chair for me.  And, frankly,  I’m a little uncomfortable.  Tell me your experience with the homeless.  What feelings go through you?

The Humanness of Jesus (and Lent)

29. March 2013 · 1 comment · Categories: Jesus · Tags: , , , , ,

I have been so struck with the humanness of Jesus this past Lenten season.  Lent is a season of “preparation of the believers [in Jesus] through prayer, penance, repentance, almsgiving and self-denial”.  Wikipedia.  That’s the formal definition.  I’m a fairly new Lent observer and until this year I just thought Lent meant you just gave up something you liked.  You know, the self-denial part.  Not being Catholic I really didn’t have teaching about it.  Usually just my youngest son, Davis and I would participate: he would give up soda and I would give up chocolate and we would pat ourselves on the back if we made it all the way to Easter without the denied product crossing our lips.  Most years we did this successfully.  This year I gave up alcohol.  Which was MUCH harder than sweets.  Especially at a party.  Or after a stressful day.  Or when eating dinner.  Which was a lot these past 40 days.

But these last two weeks I’ve been learning more about the other aspects of Lent.  I’ve even been listening to the Catholic Channel on Sirius radio.  (The Busted Halo priest is quite entertaining.)  What prompted all this Catholic listening was the voting in of the new Pope.  I watched it live because it was historic not because I really have an interest in Popedom. What I’ve gathered is that the new Pope, Pope Francis, is an out-of-the-ordinary kind of Pope for Rome. Seems like he’s a real servant of the people, especially of the poor.  Seems like he’s a real imitator of Jesus.  And pondering on that led me to these verses in the book of Philippians in the Bible.
Jesus: who, being in very nature God, 
did not consider equality with God something
to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself
and became obedient to death–
even death on a cross!
                                                 Philippians 2:5-8
Jesus…being…God.  Let that sink in a bit.  Jesus…being…GOD.  God becoming Jesus in the limitations of a fleshly body, one that hurts and is sorrowful and is tempted and yet, is still perfect.
As I am a couple of days away from ending my Lenten fast, I’m reflecting on the fully human part of Jesus.  I have longed for and craved and desired to share a meal with friends and savor a fine glass of wine many times during these last 40 days.  But I have chosen not to in awareness of Jesus’ last days on earth.  So very petty compared to Jesus’ yearnings
on the road cobbled
with stones that hobbled
his walk to the cross. He had just wept sorrowfully for Jerusalem as he “longed to gather it’s children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings.” He came offering peace and reconciliation and a safe place but Jerusalem refused to be ‘gathered’. Jesus ached for the rest and security of His Father, God’s, arms in Heaven. Instead he got tortured and ridiculed and misunderstood.  He so desired to take a sip of ‘wine’ as He cried in the Garden, “Father, let this cup pass from Me.”  He wanted to break Lent early and give up on His earthly mission. To just. Be. Done.
I know because I am human and that’s what I would have thought. I would have tapped out long before the cobblestone road.  I would have pulled out that God-card so fast and said, “I’m God.  I don’t have to put up with this!”  And who would have blamed me?
But in spite of Jesus’ humanness, He stayed the course.
The road with the cobbles 
did not hobble 
His final destination…the cross. Taking the punishment for our sins, “for the wages which sin pays is death, but the bountiful, free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus.” Romans 6:23.  He died in our place. He took our sins. And He gave us forgiveness, joy-flooding forgiveness.
Done.
Well Done.  

Postcards from Thailand

22. March 2013 · 2 comments · Categories: sex trafficking, Thailand · Tags: , , , , ,

Trip of the Heart!  With my wonderful traveling companions: From SOLD: Rachel Goble, Tawee and Beth Donchai, Plah Chermui (not shown, Warren Donchai). And from home, these lovely ladies shared my heart and forever memories: Darlene Miller, Christine Rose, Colleen Petersen and D’aun Goble.

Bangkok

The Presidential Palace, River Highway, Red Light District, Street Food

Chiang Mai

Night Sky, boy monks, tuk tuk, night market, Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep, Urban Light Ministries

Chiang Rai

Good eats, The White Temple, The SOLD Resource Center, Go Go Bar, Village Overnight, Local Hospitality, Elephants! Fried Worms, Trafficking Awareness the hotel, Education is Key in beautiful Thailand!

The SOLD Project                                                      Home of New Beginnings- Providing a home for ex-prostitutes

Urban Light-Restoring Boys who are trafficked          Dton Naam- Providing refuge for Ladyboys

 

 

The Hope for Thailand

18. March 2013 · 6 comments · Categories: sex trafficking, Uncategorized · Tags: , , , ,

                                             ”An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
                                                                                                                            -Benjamin Franklin
Since returning from Thailand, many, upon hearing of the plight of poor girls to prostitution, ask, “What do you think can be done?”  The more I delve into the sex trade there, the more hopeless I feel. The problem is vast and historied and just as the answer for World Peace can’t be summed up in a sentence, either can this solution.  But there is hope.  I found it in a small village outside Chiang Rai.
After visiting the busy, crowded cities of Bangkok and Chiang Mai, it was refreshing to drive out to the country and see green fields and blue skies. Down a dirt road nestled between rice fields and teak groves, is a sturdy wooden building housing the SOLD Resource center, which consists of a large classroom filled with red desks, couches and computers lining the walls.  
Upstairs are the offices and bedrooms for the staff and guests.  A weedy lawn spreads about the property and we get a tour of the silk worm production, a new way SOLD is helping the villagers supplement their incomes.
The most welcoming site though, are the children.  After school they come walking or riding in on bicycles, happy to give a wave to the group of Americans visiting, perhaps wondering which one of us is their sponsor, keeping them in school. My heart had already been racked by the girls at the Go Go bar. (see my previous post How far would you go to feed your family?) and seeing these newly teen-aged girls it felt like I was traveling back in time, to the time before the bar girls were ‘recruited’ for work in the big cities.  The Bar Girl’s eyes were empty and blank, the SOLD girl’s eyes were vibrant and sparkling.  They hadn’t yet had their childhood ripped away from them.  The SOLD Project is all about preventing this from happening.  Besides pairing up sponsors (people like you and me) who scholarship these students so they can stay in school, SOLD teaches English, computer skills, mentors in life skills and provides Human Trafficking Awareness Programs at the school starting in every 6th grade classroom.
“Why do these children need scholarships?  Why don’t they stay in school?” you might ask. Because school is not a given when you live in a poor community in Thailand where parent(s) are eeking out a living doing the back breaking work of a farmer or construction worker.  To go to middle and high school there are fees in transportation to the school which is not walkable or bike-ridable, book fees, teacher fees and the cost of owning 5 uniforms, one for each day. If a there is money for school, it is usually bestowed on the boys in the family as the girls are encouraged to get a job. Or they are encouraged to get married. However the former is preferred as culture dictates that the girls in the family are to support their parents and even their extended family.  You need a 9th grade education to work in 7/11 or McDonald’s so those simple jobs are not feasible.  An uneducated girl from a poor village, has limited options.  Which is why most girls end up leaving the familiarity of her small village and going into the bigger cities.
Here’s what I found out about the job opportunities for these girls:
1. Work in the rice fields.  Long hours, back breaking work under the hot sun.  About $120/month
2. Work as a maid.  This is a 24/7 job with little pay, lousy hours and most times harsh ‘bosses’.  About $166/month (if they see fit     to pay you the full amount)
3. Work as a factory worker.  The pay is a bit better than that of a maid, the hours are only 10-14 a day with one day off a month, and the work is tedious.  Oh, and she now has to pay for her own room and board and transportation. About $266/month
4. Work as a waitress (usually in a bar). Serves drinks and cleans up vomit.  About $333/month.
5. Work in the flesh trade in a Massage Parlor, Brothel, Escort Service or be a Go Go Dancer…   In a Go Go Bar she dances half naked in front of men who are 2-3 times her age, but they buy her drinks which she gets a cut of, or pays her bar fines and take her for a ‘short’ or ’long time’. Tips are tremendous.  She is seen as an object to be used not as a person to be valued.  Works all night, but she get to sleep in. About $1660-2666/month 
   (to put this in perspective a university educated teacher salary is about $1066/month)
So if you were a poor, uneducated girl, with no hope of continuing school, and it was considered your spiritual and familial duty to provide financially for your family, which job would you choose?  If bringing honor to your family is measured by the amount of money you send them, which job would you choose?  Would you sacrifice your reputation, your pride, your body to feed your family or help keep your sisters in school so they would not have to make the choice you are making?
So you see the lure of this line of work. I wondered if these children at SOLD would be so attracted to the Big Money in the big city. For even though they are scholarshipped to stay in school, they are still at risk of being trafficked (which was a word this village had not heard of before SOLD came to it!) In fact, just before we came a young girl, Som Wang was being wooed by a madam who ‘recruits’ girls and sells them. This madam had lived in the village before but was sold into prostitution.  She stayed in prostitution because the money was good and even better if she could ‘recruit’ fresh, young bodies.  With a gift of a cell phone, this madam sought out Som Wang’s friendship. Som Wang knew  from the whisperings around town what this woman did for a living and the madam finally asked her to go with her to the big city.  ”This job makes lots of money.  But you have to invest or sacrifice something in it.” Som Wang hesitated.  The madam prodded, “It’s your choice but the people who do this job, some of them already have a better life.  They are the minor wife (mia noi) of a rich man in Bangkok.” (A ‘minor wife’ is a second wife or mistress and having one is a common practice in Thailand, big city or small). Preying on a typical teenager’s desire for ‘stuff’, the madam informs Som Wang that she could get 30,000 baht or even higher for the sale of her virginity.  That’s 1,000 dollars US.  Here Som Wang might have been very tempted to go with the madam, but the voice in her head won out. That voice belonged to her mentors at SOLD. She told the woman, “I joined the SOLD Project and they taught us about the risks of prostitution and how it’s not good.  I think this way also.”  Som Wang chose not to go.  Not only was this a victory for Som Wang, it was a victory for The SOLD Project!  The message of prevention is being heard and learned!  Multiply that by the 140 children SOLD is providing guidance and scholarships for and you have the beginning of hope.
There are many organizations that offer a safe place for sex workers if they want to leave the ‘business.’  But even then they need to be taught a skill or get educated so they can make a decent living, or else they return to the good money of prostitution.  So if you still have to educate these girls after they have been selling their bodies, why not educate them before they even make it to the Red Light Districts? Why not help keep these young girls in school so they can dare to dream of becoming a nurse or a teacher or even a politician!  That is what SOLD gives such girls(and boys). That is why prevention is key.

Co-Founder of SOLD, Rachel Goble, with 2 of her scholarshipped girls.

There are many ideas to help the upwards of one million girls (with 40% being under 18) in the sex industry in Thailand alone.  Create change politically. But this could take years.  “Drafting and implementing viable solutions requires major changes in the minds of the public and Thai leadership regarding societal concepts. The concepts of equal stature for women, national social security programs, free education, national health programs, worker safety standards, worker training, minimum working hours and pay, etc. are difficult concepts to grasp in nations that don’t have them.” http://www.thaiworldview.com/poor.htm Educate the men (Here’s a shocker: the bulk of the clientele are Thai men!) so that they value women and protect their ‘daughters’.  Create heart change so that they value the person over materialism.  (Some parents sell their own daughters or sons, for the monetary benefit they will receive.)  Inspiring a culture to make positive changes when it will affect a multi-billion (yes, that’s a ‘b’!) dollar industry seems so futile.
But there is an organization that is making a difference in a poor, small pocket of Thailand.  It is empowering girls to say “No!” to the sex industry by providing the resources to keep them in school– so they have future advantage like that of a wealthier daughter, the advantage that all girls, all children should have. And that hope for Thailand, today, is the SOLD Project.  And if you, my readers, seek to make a difference with your dollars, then investing in education is a very worthwhile pursuit!  But don’t take my word for it…experience it for yourself!!  In Thailand, in Africa, in India, in….???  There are numerous places all over the globe. Take the adventure! Live Beyond your checkbook! Be the hope!
Please check out The SOLD Project for more info.
COMING UP NEXT:  Pictorial Post of Thailand and a FREE giveaway!  Stay tuned!

The Beautiful Ladyboys of Thailand

20. February 2013 · 5 comments · Categories: sex trafficking · Tags: , , , , ,

I’ve been struggling with how to write about the Ladyboys.  I don’t want to sensationalize or stigmatize, but I want you to understand so that your hearts may be compassionate.
Ladyboys are some of the most beautiful women you will see in Thailand. I say ‘women’ even though they are born boys, because they truly see themselves as women.  They are called Kathoeys which refer to a transgender or effeminate gay, but in reality they see themselves as a ‘third sex’ or a different kind of man or a different kind of woman. They desire to become fully women, and besides donning makeup and women’s clothing, many will get breast implants or even have gender reassignment surgery for about $6-8000 US dollars.  There are some highly paid Ladyboys in the city in the entertainment field whose fame is renowned but snickering and teasing still follow many Ladyboys. Yet Buddhism (which is the main religion in Thailand) is a religion of tolerance and Ladyboys are fairly accepted in Thai culture.  In fact, some believe they have a female spirit in a man’s body yet they hope in their next life they will have a female spirit in a woman’s body.

Some boys make their own choice to become Ladyboys.  For some though, the choice is made by the parents at an early age.  One story I heard was of a sickly child who was brought to a monk for prayer.  The Monk advised the family to change his name to a girl, raise him as a girl and he would be healthy.  In another story, there was a family with three boys. As you read in my last post, it is the female children of the family that provides financially for the families as their way of bringing honor.

“Money nowadays is one of the most important values in Thailand which is desired by every Thai. Where honesty and honour were the most important values, money has taken over that place with the result of materialism. Money gives people power, status and respect, something that every Thai wants to earn in his/her life.  Money is seen as honour and the people who posses money are given a high rank in society and praised.  The importance of a person is therefore not rated by his or her personal attributes but by the amount of money they have.” http://www.thaicov.org/resources/documents/thai_values.html
 So the parents will look at their sons, and choose the one who exhibits the most feminine qualities, change his name to a ‘her’ name, dress him in girl’s clothing and give him girl toys to play with. He is now a Ladyboy. Then they have the assurance that at least one of their children will provide for them, especially if they enter the sex tourism industry where the money is good.
Or maybe a boy might not like the rough and tumble, bullying lifestyle of the other boys on the playground at school.  So his classmates will tease him about being a Ladyboy and instead of fighting it, he goes along with it.  At one school, most classes had at least one Ladyboy, and if they didn’t, they assigned one.
One story recounted the violent beating a mother received from her drunk husband.  Her five year old son was watching from the corner of the room.  As  the mother dragged her broken body off the floor she turned to her son and told him she would not let him grow up to be a drunken, mean man.  ”Women take care of each other.  Women take care of Thailand.” she told him and decided right then and there to make her son into a Ladyboy.

As the boys get deeper into the lifestyle, their desire is to become fully women.  They want rights as a woman, but they are denied that.  They want straight boyfriends, but are usually left wanting there.  (A straight boy might use a Ladyboy as a  ’girlfriend’ who makes a lot of money, so he can be ‘taken care of’ but he will also have a straight female as his ‘real’ girlfriend’.)
Many end up as sex workers.  (There are about 10,000 Ladyboys working in the Bangkok sex industry alone.) Other jobs for Ladyboys are scarce or don’t pay well.  Sex pays well.  And they need to be paid well in order to buy surgeries and the ensuing estrogen therapies.  You might say, “Who would pay for sex with a Ladyboy?”  Sometimes the client does not know that this stunning woman before him is a male.  When he does find out (most just have breast implants and not the full gender reassignment, so they still have a penis) violence may ensue.  So to protect the Ladyboys, special bars are open that just feature them. But more and more customers are choosing and liking the he/she combo.
Many Ladyboys are broken physically and emotionally.   Physically, 1 in 3 have HIV, STD’s or TB.  There are many side effects from the estrogen they take, one being that they can’t sustain an erection, so they can’t even enjoy that part of sex.  Their  suicide rate is much higher than that of the general population. Emotionally, they feel rejected time and time again.  Even if they get the full gender reassignment surgery they still feel they are not a lady. They can’t find lasting love relationships and their hearts are broken.  Some public schools have separate bathrooms for Kathoey’s even further confusing the heart and mind of a Ladyboy.
The non-profit, Dton Naam is seeking to restore the brokenness of the Ladyboys. This is an organization that resides on a side street of busy Bangkok in a Coffee shop/bakery with a bit of a hippie vibe to it. They befriend the Ladyboys at the bars.  They let them know they are loved and cherished for who they are, something their world doesn’t give them.  Then if they decide to leave the sex trade, they provide a job for them at the Cafe’ or offer them a scholarship to pursue something they are interested in.  They also offer “Educational Classes within the rehab program, including English and Thai lessons, computers, health classes, gardening, music, art and photography classes. Special classes are offered dealing with mathematics, writing resumes, future planning, GED-style courses, etc .Support Groups and Individual Counseling  are tailored to their personal needs, such as overcoming drug and alcohol addictions, sexual addictions, abuse, learning to have healthy lifestyles even with STD’s and HIV, gender insecurities, problems with finances and relationship issues. It’s important to provide a safe, nurturing place for these men to overcome their pain and be empowered to live abundant lives.” http://www.dtonnaam.org/Ministries.php
And while all this is so fantastic, what struck me even more when listening to Celeste McGee, founder of Nton Naam, is her heart for these ‘girls’.  Because of her love for Jesus, she cares for each Ladyboy as one dearly loved and deeply valued.  The compassion I saw in her made me look past my judgements and preconceived notions and see not what the world determines as ‘freakish’ but instead see an individual who is deeply loved by God, just as I am. For we all bear the image of God and all equally have dignity, value and worth.  God makes no discrimination between rich and poor, weak and strong, male and female, gay and straight, gentle and tough, white collar or blue collar, light skin or dark skin.  We all fall under the umbrella of God’s redeeming love. It is Dton Naam’s utmost purpose to show every single person their worth in God’s economy.
The learning continues…

How Far Would You Go to Feed Your Family?

03. February 2013 · 4 comments · Categories: Uncategorized
This is one story of the progression to prostitution.  Not true for every Thai girl in a remote village, but a story is true time and time again.
A girl drops out of school at 6th grade,  Her family is poor and can’t afford to keep her in school.  She must bring honor to her family by paying them back for raising her.  One way is to get married after which the couple will move in with the daughter’s family.  But often times the husbands don’t provide as their role in bringing honor to the family is a spiritual one.  He will become a monk for 2 months or 2 years, thus fulfilling his duty.  With just the touch of his robe, his family is honored.  Mission accomplished, the man may become lazy, start drinking and gambling, depending on his wife to pay the bills.  Often he will leave his family and find another wife who will take care of him.  So the girl is left with no husband, most likely with children and expected to be the provider for them and her parents and siblings.  Where does an uneducated woman look for work?  Not in the village. But in the big city of Bangkok there are jobs as maids AKA indentured servants.  24/7 they work hard with meager pay and sometimes with unkind families.. So she may find a job in a factory where the pay is a bit better.  But now she has to pay for room, board and transportation so she is no better off financially.She hears there is better money waitressing in thebars so she heads that way.  Before long she is told to put on a bikini,a bit of a horror for a modest Buddhist girl, and dance on a table equipped with a pole.  The pay is better for the pole dancers, the Night Ladies,  but she is expected to be bought by a man 6 times a month.  If she doesn’t meet quota she has to pay a bar fine.  There is so much shame in this line of work, but she will sacrifice her reputation and her body in order to manage the health and welfare of their families. You might be asking “Why not work at McDonalds?” (Yes they are everywhere here!). Even fast food requires a 9th grade education.
 I found out prostitution is not legal here, but guess who turns a bribed eye to the law? We went to the bars last night to do ‘outreach’ with the Home of New Begininngs who spend time in the bars getting to know these girls. As they gain their trust they invite them to live at the Home and leave the bar life.  There they scholarship them to school so they can learn a trade or profession they are interested in.
So we went to the red light district teeming with people.both buying and selling flesh.  We went upstairs to a bar where bikini clad girls were clustered in the doorway, partially hidden by a curtain.  They were clinging to each other for closness or maybe to hide their bodies.  Inside there were 7 poled-tables with 2 girls dancing on each.  It looked like a high school pool party.  They were so young!  I found out later it was an underage bar.  15 – 18 year olds.  You could tell the experienced ones; they were dancing like Shakira on tour..   One girl caught my eye. She was the youngest girl on the tables in my estimation. She was gripping the pole with both hands just shifting her weight back and forth, forcing a rhythm. Her hands kept tugging at her bikini top willing it to cover more of her body. She wore her beautiful black hair in a long page-boy style hoping to hide her shame and embarrassment behind the curtain of her bangs. But her eyes haunted me the most, dark, hollow, with the expressionless fear.  She avoided the stares of the man sitting at her high heeled feet, perhaps praying inside, “Please don’t pick me.”  But knowing she must be picked in order to avoid a bar fine. Knowing she must get picked to honor her family obligations. What gets me is the length this girl will go to to sacrifice her reputation and her body to honor and providefamily.
Sometimes the mamma-sans, the manager of the Night Ladies, will alert New Beginnings to such a grightened girl.  Maybe out of compassion, maybe knowing the girl wouldn’t be a high producer anyway.  I pray that is so.
I have a neice this young girl’s age.  I cannot even begin to imagine her in such a situation.  No girl should have to sell herself for sex.
How far would you go to feed your family?

Thailand Bound

29. January 2013 · 10 comments · Categories: sex trafficking · Tags: , , ,

I am about to meet this girl.

She is learning her abc’s.  She loves to play with her friends and mug for the camera. She has dreams of being a nurse.  She is being targeted for sex trafficking.

I am going to Thailand with the SOLD Project which believes no child should be bought and sold for sex.  The co-founder, Rachel Goble, dedicates her life to preventing such a horrific act. The SOLD Project has an uphill battle.

“Thailand is home to 500,000 to one million men, women and children involved in the sex trade. Thai women are also found in the sex trade in most first world countries, often exploited by brokers who sell them to international traffickers who house them in deplorable conditions and sell them over and over again.

Prostitution in Thailand is driven by poverty, lack of education, gender inequality, domestic violence and family greed. While the women of Thailand do not support a drug habit, they conscientiously support their families: their children, their parents, their sisters and brothers.

Having been told they cannot survive without a man, many young women sell themselves in the red light districts that cater to Western men in hopes of finding one that will take care of them and their family”. http://www.homeofnewbeginnings.com

I am becoming educated on a epidemic that does not stop at the borders of Thailand.  Lately, every week I hear on the news reports of sex trafficking in our own backyards, in the good ole U S of A,  fueled by human depravity.  This kicks me in the gut.

The Forces say “You are just one person what can you really do?”  I can get out of my Red Chair and support a group like SOLD,  support a group that has a presence in a small village in Northern Thailand that scholarships children’s education so they can stay in school, learn a trade, skill or profession so that one day they can provide for their families in a safe way.  And for the 120 children that SOLD supports, I bet they would tell The Forces that SOLD is saving their lives. Even if it were for one child, I would go.

Please stay tuned and learn with me.

January 30 – February 10, 2013

 

The Sold Project

Other groups we are visiting that partner with SOLD:

Urban Light-Restoring Boys who are trafficked

Home of New Beginnings- Providing a home for ex-prostitutes

Volunteers for Children Development- intercepting children from trafficking

 

 

Resolutions. Or not!

14. January 2013 · 13 comments · Categories: resolutions · Tags: , , ,

I have to talk about them.  It’s January and you have to talk about them!  Resolutions. Though its all over the talk show circuit only about 40-50% of us actually make resolutions.  And of those only 8% keep them.  (I should be inviting one of those 8% to write this blog post!)

I don’t make resolutions.  I’m more of a lofty idea person.  I like the idea of change and betterment but I don’t concretely pen them on paper and post them on my mirror for daily inspiration only to be forgotten the next time I Windex.  But I do want to grow and live Beyond my Red Chair continually.

So this year I’m trying something different.  A focus.  Instead of categorizing my weaknesses and assigning goals of improvement to each one, I’m looking at my life as a whole. What kind of person do I want to be?  What kind of life do I want to live?  My friend, Susie, turned me on to this idea by pointing out the book My One Word by Michael Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen. They challenge readers to pick one word, or one focus. They say, “This process provides clarity by taking all your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single focus.  Just one word that centers on your character and creates a vision for your future.”
This is how I envision that working.  If your word is SIMPLIFY then whatever you do you ask yourself, “Is this going to SIMPLIFY my life?” (whether it’s a new task or new shoes). Run all of your life through your SIMPLIFY filter.  If your word is DISCIPLINE, then you would ask, “What can I do to improve DISCIPLINE in my life?  Is this it?”  If yes, then keep doing it, if not choose something that reflects discipline. Live your life through your DISCPLiNE lens.  If you choose GRACIOUS as your intent, picture your words and your actions as being grace-filled and aim to make it so. Let GRACIOUSness color everything you do and say. Get it?!  Let your one word motivate all your decisions, actions, and thoughts.
I’ve been thinking about this and I’m choosing TRUE.  Not because I’m a habitual liar, but because I want to live TRUE to who I am.  True to who God created me to be. You see,  I’m a very good chameleon, becoming whatever you want me to be, so I’ll fit in and be liked (more on that in a future post!)  But I want to become comfortable in my own skin and live vibrantly as Emily Ruth Davis Nelson.  (whatever that might be!) I want to live TRUE to my convictions, values and beliefs. I want to quelch the nay-sayers and trash-talkers that try to tell me what’s not TRUE. (Most of those guys are in my own head!)  So I’ve done two things so far to live TRUE.
1. It was time to buy a new car for me.  So I bought a hybrid because I wanted to save gas and help preserve the environment. Even though some in my family (names not mentioned here, but I do share a house with him!) would have preferred me to pick a different vehicle.
And 2. I ordered my first pair of TOMS shoes (a company that gives away a pair of shoes to a needy child for every pair bought).  And I bought  lime green booties with chetah lining!!  I’m sure I’ll get some eye rolls, but they are so TRUE to me!  So freeing! I’m kinda liking this so far!
And it might help to find an inspirational quote or verse to help be your mantra this year.  Here’s mine:
“Finally…whatever is true…think on, weigh, take account and fix your mind on them.”  Philippians 4:8

So what is your word this year?  TRUST?  JOY?  PROACTIVE? PATIENT? FEARLESS? BALANCE?  Share with us!  Let’s motivate each other!

For more information check out My One Word

Pictorial Look Back at 2012

03. January 2013 · 10 comments · Categories: Uncategorized

A few pics, a few words.  Show me a few of your fav’s from last year!

A kiss, God is my strength, hearts cry for Newtown, delicate beauty, city life, play time, dusky sunset, friends and Florida,Giants are champs, a new house, calming shore, WWII Vet (my father-in-law) first time to Pearl Harbor, my nearest and dearest, reading and writing, a sick kitty,

jumping for joy in the New Year!

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